By Norita Sieffert
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who make their problems my problem. They forgot to do something, or they lost something, or they messed up. Now it's my problem to fix it for them. I used to get so angry when this happened. Then one day it hit me. This is exactly what I have done to God. I have sinned and messed up. And now I am the one going to God and begging Him to help me out. So it turns out that I am no better than anyone else. In the book "The Seer of Remmon," the main character Jolus had to deal with this very same issue.
I am so grateful that God isn't like me. He is not tapping His foot and waiting to pounce as soon as I screw things up. God is not the policeman in the sky who lives to torment weak humanity. He is a gracious Father who is continually looking out for our best. We often don't know what we need. But He is wise enough to always do what's best. We just have to trust Him.
Now that I have said that, I have to be realistic. The truth is that others will persist in making their problems my and your problems. There are several methods for handling this. First off, you could get angry and feel your blood pressure skyrocket. You might shake your fist at them and gripe behind their back. You could whine and complain to anyone who will listen. However, nothing you do here will alter their conduct. It is akin to gulping poison and then waiting for them to die. It'll never happen.
Another method would be to quit your job if that's where the trouble is happening. Or you could cut off your friendship with the person who is hurting you. You could cancel your membership in that club or quit your church. You might just move away from that annoying neighbor. You could block them on Facebook and other social media sites. You could send their email to your spam folder and stop answering when they call. But these fixes are only temporary. Eventually you'll become friends with another person. Then the cycle will begin again.
The fact is that you need to change your thinking in order to stop this problem. Realize right now that you will never be able to change someone else's bad manners. You can scream and cry and gripe all day long but you'll never prevent them from continuing to do what they do and be who they are. Of course a few could change if they had not understood what they were doing. Unfortunately most people will not change. This is just a fact of life.
Adjusting your thinking is very difficult. It's likely you were raised to think that life should be fair. However, life is incredibly unfair. Some people who should get a pat on the back don't, and some who should never get a pat on the back do. Someone who handed you their problem probably got rewarded for it. This is exactly why people will never change.
It can help if we recall our friendship with Jesus and why we have that friendship to begin with. We were ignorant of the fact that we even had any issues. But God was not ignorant of our problems. He made the first move and made our sin problem His sin problem. We couldn't comprehend that our fate was to spend eternity in torment. However, He in His mercy gave us His Son to become human, live perfectly and then suffer and die on the cross for our sins. Today we can have a full relationship with God if we believe.
I am not altruistic enough to give my life for someone else's problems. Only Jesus was that altruistic. He is the only one that really didn't deserve to have our problems dumped on Him. But He volunteered to take them on. As you move toward adjusting your thinking you can remember that Jesus is always available and He deeply understands your wounds. He will never reprove you for your feelings. He really does understand. And He can help you transform your heart.
It's not possible to get others to change. But you can work on your own attitudes with God's help. Why should you struggle any longer with anger and frustration over matters you can't control? Just let them go. Turn instead to God and finally find that peace you've been searching for.
About the Author:
Norita Sieffert is a published author and speaker with a Master's Degree in Theology. She views life very practically and seeks real solutions to real problems. She is fully committed to Jesus Christ and shares her faith with others having the same struggles she has. To browse her latest Christian fiction titles on Kindle, go to her online bookstore (http://tinyurl.com/bunopv9)
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who make their problems my problem. They forgot to do something, or they lost something, or they messed up. Now it's my problem to fix it for them. I used to get so angry when this happened. Then one day it hit me. This is exactly what I have done to God. I have sinned and messed up. And now I am the one going to God and begging Him to help me out. So it turns out that I am no better than anyone else. In the book "The Seer of Remmon," the main character Jolus had to deal with this very same issue.
I am so grateful that God isn't like me. He is not tapping His foot and waiting to pounce as soon as I screw things up. God is not the policeman in the sky who lives to torment weak humanity. He is a gracious Father who is continually looking out for our best. We often don't know what we need. But He is wise enough to always do what's best. We just have to trust Him.
Now that I have said that, I have to be realistic. The truth is that others will persist in making their problems my and your problems. There are several methods for handling this. First off, you could get angry and feel your blood pressure skyrocket. You might shake your fist at them and gripe behind their back. You could whine and complain to anyone who will listen. However, nothing you do here will alter their conduct. It is akin to gulping poison and then waiting for them to die. It'll never happen.
Another method would be to quit your job if that's where the trouble is happening. Or you could cut off your friendship with the person who is hurting you. You could cancel your membership in that club or quit your church. You might just move away from that annoying neighbor. You could block them on Facebook and other social media sites. You could send their email to your spam folder and stop answering when they call. But these fixes are only temporary. Eventually you'll become friends with another person. Then the cycle will begin again.
The fact is that you need to change your thinking in order to stop this problem. Realize right now that you will never be able to change someone else's bad manners. You can scream and cry and gripe all day long but you'll never prevent them from continuing to do what they do and be who they are. Of course a few could change if they had not understood what they were doing. Unfortunately most people will not change. This is just a fact of life.
Adjusting your thinking is very difficult. It's likely you were raised to think that life should be fair. However, life is incredibly unfair. Some people who should get a pat on the back don't, and some who should never get a pat on the back do. Someone who handed you their problem probably got rewarded for it. This is exactly why people will never change.
It can help if we recall our friendship with Jesus and why we have that friendship to begin with. We were ignorant of the fact that we even had any issues. But God was not ignorant of our problems. He made the first move and made our sin problem His sin problem. We couldn't comprehend that our fate was to spend eternity in torment. However, He in His mercy gave us His Son to become human, live perfectly and then suffer and die on the cross for our sins. Today we can have a full relationship with God if we believe.
I am not altruistic enough to give my life for someone else's problems. Only Jesus was that altruistic. He is the only one that really didn't deserve to have our problems dumped on Him. But He volunteered to take them on. As you move toward adjusting your thinking you can remember that Jesus is always available and He deeply understands your wounds. He will never reprove you for your feelings. He really does understand. And He can help you transform your heart.
It's not possible to get others to change. But you can work on your own attitudes with God's help. Why should you struggle any longer with anger and frustration over matters you can't control? Just let them go. Turn instead to God and finally find that peace you've been searching for.
About the Author:
Norita Sieffert is a published author and speaker with a Master's Degree in Theology. She views life very practically and seeks real solutions to real problems. She is fully committed to Jesus Christ and shares her faith with others having the same struggles she has. To browse her latest Christian fiction titles on Kindle, go to her online bookstore (http://tinyurl.com/bunopv9)